Dostoevsky declares His Own Inner Duality in a Letter to a Kindred Soul

Letter LXXIII (1, pp. 247-250)

Petersburg, April 11, 1880

To Mlle. N. N.

Much-honored and gracious Lady,

Forgive my having left your beautiful kind letter unanswered for so long; do not regard it as negligence on my part. I wanted to say something very direct and cordial to you, but my life goes by, I vow, in such disorder and hurry that it is only at rare moments that I belong to myself at all…

You write to me of the phase which your mind is just now undergoing. I know that you are an artist—a painter. Permit me to give you a piece of advice which truly comes from my heart: stick to your art, and give yourself up to it even more than hitherto. I know, for I have heard (do not take this ill of me) that you are not happy…There is but one cure, one refuge, for that woe: art, creative activity…

After the letter that you have written, I must necessarily regard you as one dear to me, as a being akin to my soul, as my heart’s sister—how could I fail to feel with you? But now to what you have told me of your inward duality. That trait is indeed common to all…who are not wholly commonplace…It is precisely on this ground that I cannot but regard you as a twin soul, for your inward duality corresponds most exactly to my own. It causes at once great torment, and great delight…

Forgive the untidiness of my letter. If you only knew how I am losing the capacity to write letters, and what a difficulty I find it! But having gained such a friend as you, I don’t wish to lose her in a hurry.

Farewell. Your most devoted and heartfelt friend,

F. Dostoevsky

[1821-1881]

1. Dostoevsky, Fyodor. Letters of Fyodor Michailovitch Dostoevsky to his Family and Friends. Translated by Ethel Colburn Mayne with an introduction by Avrahm Yarmolinsky. New York, Horizon Press, 1961.