Failure to distinguish between Pseudo-Forgetfulness (lying), Absent-mindedness (inattention, preoccupation), and Memory Gaps (dissociative amnesia)

You had told someone something. You assume they had heard you and understood what you said. But now they don’t remember it. What is the reason for their forgetfulness?

A musician takes a taxi and puts his cello in the trunk, but when he arrives at his destination, he forgets his cello until after the taxi is gone.

You saw an acquaintance eating ice cream, but you were too busy to stop and say hello. So when you subsequently meet them, you ask how they enjoyed the ice cream, but they say you must be mistaken, because they’ve been on a diet for months.

You ask your spouse about last night, since what happened didn’t usually happen, but your spouse doesn't seem to remember anything noteworthy, until you give a clue as to what you are talking about.

How can such forgetting be explained?

They could be lying. Maybe the musician wanted to collect insurance. Maybe the person who was seen eating ice cream had bragged about how responsible he was in adhering to his new diet, and now is lying out of embarrassment.

Maybe they were absent-minded. The person who ate the ice cream may have been so preoccupied with, and distracted by, some emergency or crisis, that he had instinctively reverted to an old eating habit without thinking about it.

But there is a third possibility: memory gaps. The person may not have been lying (remembering, but pretending to have forgotten) or absent-minded (forgetful or heedless due to inattentiveness or preoccupation). The person may have been quite attentive, but memory may have been divided among more than one personality, so that one personality may not have remembered what happened on another personality’s watch.

The reason that lying and absent-mindedness are common knowledge is that people often admit that they were embarrassed or inattentive. In contrast, unless people have an excuse like alcohol or drugs, they rarely volunteer the information that they have memory gaps, because it sounds too weird and crazy. However, sometimes, if you ask them directly and matter-of-factly, they will acknowledge it.

They may lie in denying memory gaps (out of embarrassment) or they may truthfully not remember their memory gaps (“amnesia for their amnesia”). But at a later date, they may acknowledge it, explaining, “I knew but I didn’t know,” which is possible in multiple personality.

Search “memory gaps” and “mental status” in this blog for previous discussions of this cardinal symptom of multiple personality.