“Finding Me” a memoir by actress Viola Davis (post 2): “A huge part of me, my pathology, was a big secret…I had compartmentalized me”
“…deep inside there was a demon, and another part of me that was wrestling with the ‘alive’ me. She, the demon, kept whispering, ‘You’re not good.’ But the other part, the fighter, the survivor, screamed back a resounding, ‘No!’” (1, p. 60).
“…happy moments would soon be followed by trauma—the rage of my dad’s alcoholic binges, violence, poverty, hunger, and isolation…I wished I could elevate out of my body. Leave it. One time, when I was about nine years old, I succeeded…I floated up to the ceiling, looking down at myself…Then I faced myself, staring directly into—me” (1, p. 70).
“…And eventually other inappropriate [sexual] behavior occurred that had a profound effect. I compartmentalized much of this at the time. I stored it in a place of my psyche that felt safely hidden. By hiding it I could actually pretend it didn’t happen. But it did” (1, p. 76).
“…A huge part of me, my pathology, was a big secret” (1, p.130).
“When I graduated from Rhode Island College, a voice somewhere far in the recesses of my psyche, which was always true, honest, and in hindsight, beautifully cognizant, that I didn’t have the courage to always listen to, but when I did, it served me perfectly, steered me to apply to a six-week summer program at Circle in the Square Theatre in New York City. I got accepted…” (1, p. 135).
“Juilliard forced me to understand the power of my Blackness. I spent so much of my childhood defending it, being ridiculed for it. Then in college proving I was good enough. I had compartmentalized me…” (1, p. 164).
1. Viola Davis. Finding Me (a memoir). New York, HarperOne/Ebony, 2022.
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